When I'm working on a proposal and just can't think of anything to write or how to put something down the way I want it to read, I sometimes ask myself "who came up with this proposal stuff anyway and why do they have to be written like this?" Proposals seem to be a special breed of writing. All the proposals I have ever worked on or seen have a certain style, a certain tone, a certain way of wording things. It's called Proposalese. If you don't know what proposalese is, think about some of the government, technical and legal documents you've had to plow through -- you'll get the idea. Proposals don't really reflect the way that most normal people write or talk (except maybe some lawyers -- and don't get me wrong, I like lawyers). Here's an example of proposalese:
Ajaxx Corporation will make the necessary arrangements for all contract personnel, including subcontractors, to obtain GRTM personnel badges and clearances. We understand that all project staff will be required to have and display a GRTM identification badge in their possession at all times while on the Center or its off-site facilities. Requests for employee badges will be submitted to the COTR via GRTM Form 2324, "Contractor Badge/Decal Application." Ajaxx will also establish procedures to ensure that each badged employee is properly cleared in accordance with GRTM Form 383-1, "Contractor Employee Clearance Document," prior to finalization of employment termination.
Huh? See what I mean? This sounds suspiciously like an insurance policy that I had to read last week
Out of desperation and frustration, many proposal people have come up with innovative ideas for preparing and submitting proposals:
Other people want to try to insert meaningless or unrelated words, sentences or paragraphs to see if reviewers actually read the proposals carefully (or at all).
And that's what passes for proposal humor.
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